The promenade in life...

adieu

2009-11-10T22:46:00.002+08:00

Blogging is great. But it has been slowly slipping away. I'll leave a piece of me here. And seek refuge in better space. Farewell now bloggy ((:

fast one

2009-09-15T23:51:00.003+08:00

since the last entry, natas fair and europe trip have taken a back seat due to unforeseen circumstances. boo to that :(

BUT the new car is out! yes yes..and let's just say that i would like to call it my snowy pet bads. cause its huge and long macam badakz siiih. oh and its white. its cool but why has it got to be so B-I-G. sighhh..now i have a headache trying to park all the time. sheesh.

i'm going to miss my conveniently small jazzy baby :(

you've got it

2009-08-07T16:34:00.006+08:00

I can't believe after all those difficult and formal interviews I've had, I got a job with the easiest and informal interview session ever. He said it was going to be a quick five but I think it didn't even last a speedy three! Alhamdulillah...even though the pay is just enough to go by, I see helping out the community as a more rewarding experience. (My hiring manager thought I was over qualified for the job...but when it comes to helping needy people, I believe there is no such thing as being over qualified!) My stint starts this coming Tuesday, yay!

Let's see the many things worth looking forward to:

Work
Volunteer & mentoring
Computer class
Ramadhan
Convocation
Brooch-making business
New car
Hari Raya
NATAS fair!
Europe trip

not long forgotten

2009-07-17T20:00:00.004+08:00

Hey blogger! Been contemplating an update but the lazy me always postponed any ramblings. So much has happened in a few short months. Last semester in school ended with the most stressful exam ever. The last stretch reminded me on those A level days and how bad I wanted to ace this time. Alhamdulillah, results proved my hard efforts paid off. All those long hours alone in the library did do good. Now, I've kind of miss the study/exam stress. NOT that I wanted to go through all that again any time very soon.

2 months into my holiday, I've had awesome time going on a graduation trip to Gold Coast & Melbourne and countless fun catching up with friends on outings, dates and meet-up sessions. My maiden experience of going abroad without my parents was a true eye opener. I felt blessed and lucky being given the opportunity and trust to be independent and responsible on a foreign land. Losing my new phone despite trying all efforts to be vigilant was one of the challenges that shook me and made me hope my parents were around to comfort me and tell me what to do. Their absence was a blessing in disguise as I learn to calm myself down and get through that lowest point on my own. I am thankful for having patient friends too as company. That trip was the first but it is definitely not going to be my last. I hope I'll be blessed with the rezeki in the future for many more opportunities to travel the world to appreciate and awe at God's beauty.

So now what's my next step? Besides going for many interviews as a head start, I'm enjoying my computer classes very much, as of the last lesson. I learned new cool stuffs that are definitely beneficial. I am also looking into learning a new language. French perhaps? We'll see. I am still looking for a breakthrough, a sign to my ultimate next step. I have contemplated certain options but as of now, those options are still open and I am welcoming new ones too if they come by. I have a long way to go. The beginning of the next phase of my life has yet to start. I am still transitioning ((:

leaving on a plane

2009-05-26T00:54:00.005+08:00

Before flying off, I catched one of the best movie I've watched so far. This is awesome!

And I'm super excited for the grad trip down under! Be back on the 3rd (: (: (:

making memories

2009-03-29T23:37:00.005+08:00

The aching body only started to take effect today as I woke up in the morning and the ache is getting worse, I'm walking like a robot around the house. But heck, it was all worth it thanks to my team of kelam kelabut! As Suli and me were talking about it on the way home, the dynamic of our team is great. We had some old khakis to "rekindle" bonds with and new ones like Shazana and Lin to nourish the love with. And though we can be crazy hyper at times, singing cheers out of tune together, we can also be dead piss off with each other during crunch times. It doesn't matter though because at the end of it all, we bear no grudges. In fact, we laugh it all off, our merepek actions and reactions. I'm also grateful because if not for events like this, I would not have the chance to get a go at dragon boating and find my hidden talent in archery ;-p

And Alhamdulillah, we all made it to the last pit stop without any major injuries nor being the LAST team to arrive. That first entangle hands game that we got to finish FIRST boosted the spirits up of the likes of dear Farhanah who thought we would be the ones to be eliminated first. But surprise surprise, we finally came in 4th (out of 10) and won the BEST FIT team, for being able to fit in Taufik's car!! Yes, all EIGHT of us (minus the driver himself) hahahahahhh...

again

2009-03-12T00:17:00.002+08:00

It seems like the cycle never stop. I'm hoping it will. Someday it will, god willing.

diversity

2009-02-25T15:35:00.004+08:00

Things are starting to pick up and I can feel the hectic-ness of this coming few weeks already. I have tests every other week and not to forget an assignment to finish during that same period. My assignment is on company evaluation. I don't know why the lecturer chose to assign the same company to every single group rather than having a variety of choice. But in any case, we are suppose to evaluate CapitaMall trust. The very company building many of our malls here such as tamp mall, j8, imm, atrium@orchard etc. Interesting but challenging at the same time. The very industry segment it is in i.e. real estate investment trusts (REITs) is not something many people are familiar about.

This brings me to the point of educational segmentation in the tertiary stages. In primary school, we learn the same things across the board but as we move further, the specialisation of courses makes me feel that I am not in touch with the world as a whole. While I am well versed in many financial terms and aspects of our financial being, I am not as familiar about say health sciences and sociology. If I talk finance to people who do not take finance, the jargons I use seem so alien and foreign to them. Same goes the other way round to me when I hear about engineering concepts or soci theories.

So the solution? A dear friend said its networking. I think, how true. It is the best and efficient way to know people from many different backgrounds and learn new things of all the different aspects of life. At the same time while they are affecting me, I too hope that I can affect them by making them more financially aware and literate. Alhamdulillah I feel blessed having friends who are potential lawyers, doctors, teachers, asatizahs, policy-makers, researches and many many more. (:

too much

2009-02-18T23:36:00.002+08:00

I'm quite infuriated and pissed off with the system. This I can't control anymore. Who in the hell give my 10 year old Primary 4 brother EIGHT pages of Math and SIX pages of English homework PLUS an open-ended comprehension all in a day's work to be submitted on the next?!

This is way too much.

If you are my friend and planning to be a teacher in the future, never EVER make this mistake. Else, I'm having a word with you. Please take serious note. This is no joke. A 10 year old is just a kid for goodness sake.

good doesn't come easy

2009-02-05T12:54:00.005+08:00

Lately I've been confused with the things that are happening around. Things that I see, things that I read, things that I heard. Reflective thinking is tiring. It goes in circles. When I thought I found the answers, it's gone the next day. I think what Ain says is true. I need more yakin too. That everything is not without hikmah.

By the way my dad is in ward. Too tired...way too tired. Pray for his speedy recovery and good health friends.

it can't be postponed

2009-02-03T00:12:00.003+08:00

"Balance will not make you happy unless you are happy with what you choose as balance."

It hit me. Like a home run.

Permata yang dicari

2009-01-30T16:35:00.004+08:00

Ya Allah,
Jika dia benar untukku
Dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Jika dia bukan milikku
Damaikanlah hatiku
Dengan ketentuan Mu...

picnic!

2009-01-13T23:58:00.003+08:00

Last weekend I had lots of fun, alhamdulillah. Started out morning jog with my jogging partner. Then, I persuaded my family to picnic at the city's reservoir. Since the last kite flying attempt with the AJ girls, I've been itching to fly kite again. My dad taught me the right way to fly. Now I'm certified, you can date me for kite flying (apa kata mentel partner?) I think my dad is cool...he could bring the kite up in a minute. It takes skill laaaa. See, there were two mats who attempted to fly their kites for 3 hours or so but never succeeded (that is from the time we reached to the time we were packing up). It was so funny looking at them running around in circles. In the end, they got tired and sat in the middle of the field, kites in their hands, sad and dejected. Kesiannn...

briefly general

2009-01-05T23:37:00.005+08:00

First day of school made me semangat to type this entry hahah! It may follow through or not. Well, just for me to recap and those interested to read on.

Investment is a current commitment of funds for a period of time in order to derive returns or future payments that will compensate for time, expected rate of inflation and uncertainty of future flow of funds. Individuals invest to earn returns from savings due to their deferred consumption. In other words, they opt to trade off present consumption for a larger future consumption. Returns represents compensation or an increase in wealth from holding a security over a given period of time. Returns come in the form of dividend income or capital gains derived from a change in the price of the security. Proper evaluation of different assets that we wish to include in our investment portfolio would mean that we have to accurately compare their historical rates of return. However, we need to note that the historical price of a stock does not provide an accurate projection of its future price. It is used in a way as a benchmark to compare different assets to make general estimations of their relative performance. Appropriate benchmarking is important to reflect an individual's risk class. If an investor is risk averse and opt to invest in government bonds, studying the STI index as a benchmark would be inappropriate. A measure of the historical rates of return is the Holding Period Return (HPR). HPR is the ending value of the investment over the beginning value of the investment. Assuming a $200 investment at the beginning of the year which was raised to $220 at the end of the year, the HPR will be 1.1 (ie. > 1). HPR > 1 means there is a positive change in wealth. Accordingly, HPR < 1 means there is a negative change in wealth and HPR = 1 means there is no change in wealth. Although HPR can be < 1, it can never be negative as a $200 investment can only be reduced to $0, meaning total loss in investment cannot exceed $200 if that is the amount of funds we pumped into the investment. A better measure of historical rates of return however would be the Holding Period Yield. HPY = HPR - 1. Suppose you have a set of annual rates of return (HPRs or HPYs) for an investment, we can measure the mean annual return arithmetically or geometrically. Geometric Mean Return (GM) is always superior to Arithmetic Mean Return (AM) because GM compound interest earned throughout the year unlike AM which calculate only the simple interest. As such, AM is always biased upwards. It is best used as an expected value for an individual year, while GM is the best measure of an asset's long term performance. What is important to note here as an investor is not to be easily fooled by statistics and numbers. For instance, say Company A's funds lost 90% during a year and rose by 92% the next year. Arithmetically, the company's funds increased by 1% on average over the two years. However, say if you invest $1000 at the beginning of the first year. By the end of the second year, your investment would have actually fall to $192 instead of rising. Just some little but very important things to be wary of when considering investments in the future. (:

just some

2009-01-05T23:10:00.003+08:00

I've been listing a lot these days and it somehow works in managing my stress once accomplished. I think I shall stick to it for a long time running I hope. Organizers never stick with me after a couple of months, else it never did past half the year. I hope it does too this time.

Kem Kembara 2009 was a nice close to my holidays. Ubin was trying yet striving on makes it all the worth. Not just fun but did some endurance and reflective thinking. My younger brother tagged along. Though he may be irritating at times, he brought a different kind of joy to me (and the rest of the group I hope).

all that i cherish

2009-01-01T23:45:00.002+08:00

I had another eventful and HAPPENING new year's celebration with the ain and fanah. Simpang! "terima kasih aje ke? $1.80 eh!"

Well, happiness and tribulations of 2008...hopes and dreams of 2009...all are pretty better left unsaid (:

Happy 2009!

as the last sem draws near

2008-12-26T23:08:00.008+08:00

Its been quite awhile since. Earlier on during the holidays, with the attempt to find a job failed, the boredom was killing me so I took my sweet time crafting brooches again. It was weird and unlike me to sit around and laze at home during the holidays without being able to even finish half of the current book I'm reading. But the past weeks prove hectic. Marina Barrage picnic and Ikea visits and preparation for my dear bestfriend's wedding as well as my own abang's engagement. Now, with the next and LAST (omg!) semester around the corner, preparations for school has got to start quick. And to top it all of with Kem Kembara 09 to excitingly look forward to, I guess reading and crafting would just have to be postponed. Damn. I need to work on following through my small little projects. Hah.

There's definitely a whole load of things that has happened too. Happiness and tribulations of 2008 in a nutshell. Which I guess deserves a whole next entry. But I'm glad for that one thing that has followed me through it all 2008.

So, there's reasons to the economic downturn and my failing to get a holiday job.

((:

friday's fun

2008-12-07T19:03:00.007+08:00

1. Lunch picnic and playground madness with mentel partner
2. Visit to Adib's
3. Bowling with AJ gang

I have always enjoyed the serenity of deserted-ness. Somehow, there is comfort in an unspoiled landscape devoid of many many other humans. So we laid the mat on the grass patch right smack in the middle of nowhere. It was bliss...until it got too scorching ;b

Then while I was busy trying to figure out the roads, gadis-gadis di belakang camwhore rupanya. And while waiting for the boys, the tudung minahs wasted loads of 20 cents playing arcade dengan khusyuknya. Bowling was great/gerek. Trying to advise others on how to bowl the right way...RIIIGHT. Its like the pot calling the kettle black. Hahahah :D

from my nimble little fingers

2008-11-28T18:32:00.000+08:00

it takes a relapse of creativity and yes, that needed support and convincing to make something worthwhile out of my free time at home. so i made a fabric sewn-on brooch (:

it's nice to do something for someone once in awhile or when it matters. you get to forget about yourself and all the self-centredness that comes with it in order to just dedicate a second in being empathetic. we need to be strong and brave for the people even if deep down inside, we are just as scared and want to run away from it all as an easy escape. afterall, its not our problem. but that sweet taste of sacrifice at the end is what keeps us going because we know it will all be worth it in our hearts.

i'm excited for tomorrow! weeee~ all the missing youS is worth the wait ((;

a woman's worth

2008-11-25T21:56:00.000+08:00

Ku akan menjagamu
Di bangun dan tidurmu
Di semua mimpi dan nyatamu
Ku akan menjagamu
Tuk hidup dan matiku
Tak ingin, tak ingin kau rapuh

Dik, jangan engkau pergi tinggalkan aku
Dik, ingin aku cinta dan cinta slalu
Saat kau tengah terluka
Kala kau tengah gundah

I used to feel fragile but I'm learning to be delicate.

Setiap kesulitan atau cabaran yang diberi Tuhan tidak tanpa bersebab atau hikmahnya. Akan sentiasa ada hamba Allah yang lebih menderita. Aku hanya dapat merasa sedikit percikkannya.

wanita itu bagaikan angin

2008-11-23T00:26:00.002+08:00

lembutnya melenakan,
ributnya menggusarkan.

what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over

2008-11-19T01:22:00.002+08:00

quoted from the zahir.

and I would also add: what the ear doesn't hear, the mind doesn't worry over.

seems very true ain't it? that's why I guess it is better to be less vocal and more tamed or even more diverted in speech. sometimes, I adopt this method for the better; against the ill exposure of my true-est feelings. moreover, I am not gifted a language person. summary; precisely expressing intent, is never my forte. thus, that explains why I tend to be like a nagging mum; goes round and round in circles and longwindedness. else, I tend to be vague (maybe it is just like what I am doing now). even so, it takes a lot of thought processing which at times bring about new perspectives and then, further thought processing. it's a cycle.

which reminds me of my-daily-life-cycle-post-exams. patience and faith, patience and faith.

my wonderwall

2008-11-12T23:13:00.007+08:00

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time

For many, exams are only nearing or just beginning. This is the time of the year where I find myself stuck in a transition. While my exams are over, others are still stressing or mugging their way through. You guys should find the comfort in knowing my rejuvenation was short lived because of that...no I'm just kidding. ((:

I received a sharing. I think it's only right to share it further to benefit more.

Knowledge Vs Wealth

Ali (RA) was once asked what was better: wealth or knowledge. He said, Knowledge is superior to wealth for ten reasons:

(1) Knowledge is the legacy of the prophets. Wealth is the inheritance of the Pharaohs. Therefore, knowledge is better than wealth.

(2) You have to guard your wealth but knowledge guards you. So knowledge is better.

(3) A man of wealth has many enemies while a man of knowledge has many friends. Hence knowledge is better.

(4) Knowledge is better because it increases with distribution, while wealth decreases by that act.

(5) Knowledge is better because a learned man is apt to be generous while a wealthy person is apt to be miserly.

(6) Knowledge is better because it cannot be stolen while wealth can be stolen.

(7) Knowledge is better because time cannot harm knowledge, but wealth rusts in course of time and wears away.

(8) Knowledge is better because it is boundless while wealth is limited and you can keep account of it.

(9) Knowledge is better because it illuminates the mind while wealth is apt to blacken it.

(10) Knowledge is better because knowledge induced the humanity in our Prophet to say to Allah, "We worship Thee as we are Your servant," while wealth engendered in Pharaoh and Nimrod the vanity which made them claim Godhead.

Knowledge is better than wealth, but sharing is a wealth of knowledge. So how? Just my personal musing. ;-b

In our quest for knowledge, we sometimes get too caught up with the overwhelming stress, headaches and fatigue to do well. Even I feel guilty for putting too much mental pressure on myself. I love what I'm studying but too many a times I fail to truly enjoy and appreciate its contents as much as I've should. Afterall, its knowledge for the taking that shouldn't be confined to the moment I submit my exam script. For one, I need to really work on that lack of time management that has been a problem since forever.

On a side note, mentel ain I went for reflexology!

Take a break, well you can have a kit kat, but you can consider reflex too! Or any other personal pampering will do. It'll do wonders ((:

rejuvenate

2008-11-07T23:41:00.002+08:00

Exams finally over. This semester wasn't as breeze sailing as I remembered the last. Thank god its over. One thing for sure, the stress was good. Though tough, it pushed me to my limits in a positive way. One last semester to graduation? I don't even want to think what that next step is going to be like.

hope

2008-10-27T00:43:00.007+08:00

With the exams, I'm a big stress ball. Down with cold just a day before my first paper. Got worst in the exam hall. Definitely not the best time, even at all to be getting it. Alhamdulillah, I'm much better now after the visit to the doctor.

Sometimes when we feel terrible about ourselves, there's always someone worse than us. We need to stop worrying unnecessarily and forget to syukur while at that.

This one goes out to all my beautiful girlfriends (:

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eSnips Social DNA

Kau digelar sebagai penyeri dunia
Hadirmu melengkap hubungan manusia
Bukan sahaja dirindui yang biasa
Malah Adam turut sunyi tanpa Hawa

Akalmu senipis bilahan rambut
Tebalkanlah ia dengan limpahan ilmu
Jua hatimu bak kaca yang rapuh
Kuatkanlah ia dengan iman yang teguh

Tercipta engkau dari rusuk lelaki
Bukan dari kaki untuk dialasi
Bukan dari kepala untuk dijunjung
Tapi dekat dibahu untuk dilindung
Dekat jua di hati untuk dikasihi
Engkaulah wanita hiasan duniawi

Mana mungkin lahirnya bayangan yang lurus elok
Jika datangnya dari kayu yang bengkok
Begitulah peribadi yang dibentuk

Didiklah wanita dengan keimanan
Bukannya harta ataupun pujian
Kelak tidak derita berharap pada yang binasa

Engkaulah wanita istimewa

Sedarilah insan istimewa
Bahawa kelembutan bukan kelemahan
Bukan jua penghinaan dari Tuhan
Bahkan sebagai hiasan kecantikan

it's not time

2008-09-26T23:44:00.003+08:00

i love love love hei sushi simply because there's only one of its kind here. but i want want want more of the likes of say...sushi king!

the kiddy's meal serving is uber cute don't you think?

Happy Blessed 47th!

take a second look

2008-09-16T00:04:00.004+08:00

I wonder why is it that we are commonly identified as Malay Muslims rather than Muslim Malays? Perhaps because being a Malay plays a more significant role in this context than the latter? Well, that could be one but I think relative significance doesn't justify importance. Being identified as a Muslim is more important to me than the former. Religion plays a more significant role in an individual's life than race does. However, the problem here is that being a Malay is synonymous to being a Muslim and the other way around. It is hard to dissect the two because it can get quite intricate and complicated. Ironically, it can also be easy to separate a mere Malay Muslim from a true one. Just some food for thought. The focus group I went to yesterday really had me thinking about these issues. It specifically targeted at being a young Malay Muslim female in Singapore, but that is a whole other issue to be expanded upon. Most importantly, what do you want to identify yourself with?

A few days ago I received news about a dear old friend who was hospitalized for a third cardiac arrest in a brief one month's span. Doctors suspected him for brugada syndrome, also more commonly known as sudden unexpected death. At such young age and a promising future, you never think something like that could happen to you. Fate has its ways. May we count our blessings to Allah for the gift of life and health, insyaAllah.

To Hudzaifah,
I pray for your speedy recovery and good health.

I am suddenly reminded of a dearest friend, Isz Sazli, who has passed away more than a year ago. I miss you. I'm sure we all do.

Sometimes it amazes me
How strong the power of love can be
Sometimes you just take my breath away

You watch my love grow like a child
Sometimes gentle and sometimes wild
Sometimes you just take my breath away

And it's too good to slip by
Too good to lose
Too good to be there
Just to use
I'm gonna stand on a mountain top
And tell the news
That you take my breath away

Your beauty is there in all I see
And when I feel your eyes on me
Oh don't you know you just
Take my breath away

strawberry shortcake blueberry pie

2008-09-12T12:24:00.003+08:00

strawberry shortcake
blueberry pie
v-i-c-t-o-r-y
victory victory that's our cry!

I love our cute cheer..although everyone tengah puasa, dengar the cheer boleh membangkitkan nafsu! Hahahah. I enjoyed ramadhan rox. Me and ain were same old same old "over-aged" participants. Many madrasah girls in my group who were only 14~15. I did the high rope elements after so long and "conquered" my fear. Cycling in the early morning was fun too but I wished it was longer and we didn't need to rush our treasure hunt on wheels. That "walk-your-abc" team building game sumpah tested my patience. Clearly wasn't as easy as it seems. The inner invocation bits and pieces during the camp is meaningful in itself. Alfresco tahajjud and subuh is masyaAllah, an experience. Before we know it, we are nearly crossing the halfway mark of Ramadhan. Time is passing by so briskly on us. Hopefully this Ramadhan has been a fruitful one for all of us thus far, insyaAllah.

Ku sadari akhirnya kerapuhan imanku
Telah membawa jiwa dan ragaku
Ke dalam dunia yg tak tentu arah

Ku sadari akhirnya Kau tiada duanya
Tempat memohon beraneka pinta
Tempat berlindung dari segala mara bahaya

Oh Tuhan mohon ampun
Atas dosa dan dosa selama ini
Aku tak menjalankan perintahMu
Tak pedulikan namaMu
Tenggelam melupakan diriMu

Oh Tuhan mohon ampun
Atas dosa dan dosa sempatkanlah
Aku bertobat hidup di jalanmu
Tuk penuhi kewajibanku
Sebelum tutup usia kembali padaMu
Oh kembali padamu ohhh

P.s. mentel...i'm waiting for the rest of the pictures!

of twenty one surprises

2008-09-03T11:54:00.005+08:00

Being twenty one sure feels old, though I may still not look the part. Kids these days mature physically faster than me. Can I stay 16? ;-b No more "teens", we make up jargons like "tweens" just to make us feel younger. Hee..

As I pass this age, I reminisce on the last 20 years of my life. I was naive and probably made too many mistakes than which I can account for. We are only human that way; when we acknowledge that we have wronged in the past and strive to make today and the days ahead better days with lessons learnt full in our hearts. Nonetheless, it takes those years to be here and I couldn't feel more blessed to be surrounded by people I love. ((:

My thanks, for all your well wishes and prayers my way.

spectacle of colours

2008-08-25T23:42:00.003+08:00

Though I did not purchase the $18 ticket (which I later found out was severely inflated i.e. $43.50 for ONE ticket and even better, $88 for a pair of tickets! in ebay auctions and still bid for...here's demand inelasticity at its best), I had a blast in my own ways on both days.

Till I see you again.

(:

twenty second

2008-08-14T23:25:00.005+08:00

Last week I had a blast with the girls! K-box and Mya's birthday surprise. (: Of course I had my occasional bouts of whines. Test fits...felt a little guilty for hanging around too much, forgetting the fact that my holidays were way over.

It is nice to have a complain avenue who believes in bringing out the best in you. Got me back into focus. Turns out, the test was really okay. Don't know why I like to put stress on myself unnecessarily.

Personal space are better left...personal.

I think I am losing this blogging thing...

laid back car rides

2008-08-05T00:53:00.005+08:00

I can't decide which version is better. The more I hear, I think I prefer the instrumental on Clay Aiken's but I love Ryan Tedder's voice better. Hehe...but anyhow, this song (both music & lyrics inclusive) is so inspiring and uplifting (:

On my way here

I've seen the best
I've seen the worst
I wouldn't change what I've been through
I've touched the sky
I've hit the wall
But I did what I had to

On my way here
Where I am now
I've learned to fly
I have to want to leave the ground
I've fallen hard
But I've been loved
And in the end it all works out
Faith has conquered fear
On my way here

I'd rather try and fail
A thousand times denied
At least whenever you feel pain
It lets you know that you're alive

I've been a fool
I've been afraid
I've been loved
I've been lied to
I've been wrong
And I've been right
I stood up when I had to

days to come

2008-08-04T00:50:00.005+08:00

I thought we grow wiser by age, sadly...some souls do not know how to rationalize their thoughts and actions before taking the leap. Bless them. And bless us, to not follow their paths.

I know it is not great to judge, but pardon me for this. I can't say one thing is more of a sin than the other. There is no benchmark for comparing relativeness when it comes to this since even the sin of all sins can be pardoned by the Almighty. Sesungguhnya Allah itu pengampun. But I get repelled by seemingly pious people who do not practice what they preach. It is ironically vicious.

Biasness is not right too. But we as humans, we can't help but be biased towards our loved ones...family and friends. Well, though I do think it is not technically wrong to be bias towards certain things either (we take sides to show support and care above all), there needs to be a line drawn when it comes to knowing our limits. Even a lawyer knows that the best he can do for his outrightly wrong client is to bring down his charges, not to channel wasted efforts to win his flawed case. So take sides, be bias...but don't shoot down other parties just to pledge your cause. Assuming you know the full depth and breadth of the case that is not even yours to start with, is ridiculously foolish.

It is always nice to have something to look forward to and be excited and happy about. I am glad to know my close knits are experiencing what they are. I think I am having my fair share too. Can't wait for more joyous times to come! :D

Something to end from Japan Hour...
Lady: I am so bad at that...You were good!
Husband: That is why we are a couple.

I chuckled that moment. Such cuteness. I would so love to travel to scenic places like Japan and soak in the beauty of nature. They get so much joy from short getaways to savour the beauty of autumn leaves, cherry blossoms, great food, hot baths, train rides, crafts, and even friendly strangers.

reunion

2008-08-03T14:44:00.008+08:00

Last friday, bbq with 3604 was great catching up! Missing college days, I haven't seen these people in ages...especially people like Zonkie, Gary, Elim, Nadia and Nadiah (: Food was yummy! What with people like satay hantu and marshmellows bbq expert to share with.I finally know how to bbq my marshmellows to brown crisp on the outside and oozing chewy on the inside, thanks Nerdy! The spicy hot stingrays and squids are delicious tooo, big hugs to Prick! Gary is lame as always, realised that when we started playing frisbee...and he can't stop being THE him we knew all through the night, superb laughing-trigger company! Zonkie and his wHHHat, which he still keeps originally pronouncing with a more "h" and "who-ing" sound. Elim, the model in our 3604 family. Nadiah, the soon-to-be lawyer, the one to go to when I need legal advice and services heehee. Nerdy, my pro photographer whom I am bringing to my honeymoon in Venice to snap my wedding pictures (I have booked you since back in JC, I AM your ultimate client lol! Can't believe we are discussing about this so casually AS IF I am getting married tomorrow ;-b). Yaya papaya Yali, the uninvited ghost in our pictures...how can I forget THE video, "I am magician Koh Yali, I'm going to show you a magic trick" *slaps forehead*. Chen Hong...erm, forever eating! And MUNI! the geeky-turned-bimbo with her "babe" and "bebeh" and "aisehbedah" and mentel flamingo poses...the only one who goes to the garden festival for the sole purpose of finding out what kind of flowers she wants on her wedding hahahahah! and I love our time playing charades too...what with things like 'my humps', 'sex and the city', 'ricky martin', 'sergeant dollah', 'all by myself' etc. to guess. Obviously, we the self-professed winner team declared ourselves the winner though we failed to guess one act BUT on the basis that the loser team took too much time to think of words to act. funness! (: (: (:

*P.s. More pictures on fb people

yummy happy food

2008-07-30T00:07:00.010+08:00

Now that it was mentioned, I realise how such a foody person I am. It is very easy to please me...a scrumptuous meal is all it takes to make up a happy me ;D

My recent haunts speaks for itself...(and this is certainly not exhaustive)

I'm so gonna get BONCIT! hahahah...

when it lingers

2008-07-28T21:27:00.002+08:00

I went for my 2nd play! well, a few weeks back actually...so this is kinda old hehe. Though the plot got predictable and nothing out of normalcy in malay staging, i enjoyed it a lot probably out of its simplicity and realness, evoking our emotions and senses.

"From two influential families, a favoured daughter and a dutiful son, deeply in love, yet torn apart by bigotry and tradition...A tale of forbidden love."

Its synopsis intrigued me simply due to its mundane, recurring theme since decades back. Yes I am weird that way but I think this is the kind of issue we usually take for granted for because it seems so "yesterday". Truth of the matter is, the same bleak theme happens in the real world all the time, all around us. So I thought it was a good take although ironically in the end, I learn that not being able to get one thing you want the most is ultimate frustration. Not so helpful aye? hee... ;-b

Sometimes I wonder which is better? To make everyone else happy by forgoing your own joy or sacrificing happiness of others to reach personal bliss? Of course the latter seems the more selfish choice in a glance. About which is better? Very very subjective I'd say. But God willing, the best choice to make is reaching personal bliss with the genuine joy of others. In fact, it is not a choice to make, it is a blessing to be cherished.

Anyways, it was a pleasant surprise to find out Cik Jo (our Gema instructor) was acting a role in the play; the unwanted guy Juliet's forced to get married to. Recently he was also featured in Suria's drama, Zero Downpayment, and other dramas BUT either as a faggot or a cikopek. Hahahah! I wonder why he always get THOSE kind of roles ;-b As usual, his antics crack me up. Oh man, I think his idiosyncrasies will live through our hearts for many years to come. We still laugh when we reminisce about those times, funny moments during trainings. It was nice to come up to him and still be remembered (:

(those were the days...haish)

a lil bit of fun

2008-07-24T21:04:00.005+08:00

I have been wanting to write about this...

Alhamdulillah, praises to the Almighty. Being a muslimah to me means acknowledging that we do have weaknesses and we do make mistakes and bearing those in mind, we move forward and strive to overcome new challenges with an open heart and an open mind. Being a muslimah in today's context also means having the drive to strike a balance and stability in our lives. To be able to reap success in the worldly world, but with the guidance and blessings from our spiritual righteousness. And to not just strive to be a good daughter to our parents, but also all at the same time to strive to be a good sister to our siblings, a good friend to our colleagues, a good student to our teachers and most of all, a good servant to our Almighty.

People come and go, change and reform...but it is not I who have the right to be critical. I always pray I am rid of all the negativities that constantly surrounds me. The hatred, the anger, the disappointment, the sadness, the madness, the jealousy, the envy, the lethargy, the blahs, the lack of satisfaction and fulfillment. Once in awhile I fail cause I am only human. But I am in myself constantly trying to take extra care to pave my way towards sunshine and sunflowers too, which I believe will surface if I look deep and hard enough.

It is those who embrace themselves with warmth and joy who will be recuperated with the equivalent, if not more...

When we keep getting hiccups that would not go away for a couple of minutes, it is rather frustrating is it not? We can choose to giggle it off till it finally go away or destroy our mood for the next hour or so. The event was a considerable success, thanks a bunch to the guests. Despite the hiccups and background mess that I am sure was crystal obvious to those who are not busy having fun, there is comfort in knowing those who matters did their best to make it happen. Considering the fact that it was the effort of solely muslimahs' will-power, literally down right to the logistics handling and management of "angkut-ing all the tonnes of barang-barangs". I would safely say we had minimal adams' help...probably one or two. That, I am very proud of.

However, though it was not as transparent, certain people ended doing more than others though they don't choose to even if they could choose not to, to roll up their sleeves and get dirty, sweaty and ugly. Even I found myself helping out more than what I had in mind at the beginning actually. Perhaps the absence of authority of sorts makes it more challenging to pledge full commitment voluntarily and responsibly. Gone were those days we had CCA points as merit for our commitment or teachers in-charge to hunt us down to ensure we are on our toes all the time. With that I think, it is justified to expect a couple of flaws on our part. However, do believe me it is nothing to be proud of. Again, my apologies.

All in all, it has been a blast! I am blessed and syukur to be able to learn new things, enjoy new company and get meaningful takeaways I once won't if I don't involve myself. With that said and despite all the fun I've had, it is official; this will be the first and the last. Priorities!

(:

birthday bash

2008-07-23T23:17:00.014+08:00

i was "honoured" to be invited to the BIRTHDAY PARTY OF THE YEAR! The mocha walnut cake from Royals was yummy (cause i ordered ;-b)...

ain is an official MAKCIK of twins! (the babies are so tiny and fragile sheesh)

kakak ain and her tutees...so cute hehe!

16th July coincidence! Happy Belated to Na'im too (:

Suli sentiasa trying to posing maut...lol

and they became my new found friends...

the heavenly homemade strawberry cheesecake...oh no i'm craving it again!

some things are better left untold.....

lethargy

2008-07-22T00:27:00.004+08:00

i haven't been updating for what seem the longest time thus far. many things to update. both the good and the bad, the nice and the ugly, the trials and the tribulations...all in all for the most part of my july. life has been hectic...will be too i suppose (isn't it always?). need to get certain things back on track...motivation, attention, drive. last but not least, my apologies to many for my shortcomings.

Muslimah Night 2008

2008-07-06T19:51:00.008+08:00

LADDIESSSS!!!

Come 18th July, you'll be saying.. Thank God its Friday!

The highly anticipated Muslimah Night 2008 is ON this July at Taman Warisan, Istana Hall (Malay Heritage Centre)

Tickets are now available and you can get them from any friendly committee member (read = ME! ;-b) at $12.

We'll be having games, performances, great food and amazing prizes to be won!

Also, 5 lucky ladies will win the chance for a make-over sponsored by Bonafides.
Write in to us and tell us why you deserve this make-over and we'll give you the make-over of a lifetime.

And if you have a talent that you're dying to showcase, contact us and we might just include you in our line-up for the night!

Bring along your sisters, friends, cousins, school mates, old neighbours & your ENERGY!
But remember: Strictly for ladies only ;)

P.s Come dressed like the Cover girl from a magazine 'cos the stars of the night is You!

More details here! http://muslimahnight08.blogspot.com

(:

ladies night

2008-07-04T21:49:00.006+08:00

ladies get free play on tuesdays. so mind cafe we went. it was another fun chill out get together. taboo, snorta, faces, that props game, that pepper lettuce cauliflower tomato game, that missing colour and animal game, that partnering hand gestures game. hahah wow, we played quite a fair bit. though some games were "mendak" (boring) and some we anyhow made our own rules. the funny antics. suli and her semangatness "oh this is easy" who gestured words we need to guess but at the end of it, realised she did not even use the props when it was a game of props. shak who got so enthu when we asked for the clue he showed us the prop (that square sponge thingy) instead. fanah who spoke in malay..."kedai! kedai!" when the taboo word was shop since the word to guess was bodyshop. to adib who is expert in playing snorta "squeak! squeak! ribbit! ribbit! MM-mmm! MM-mm! huuuuuuu! meow! nay! cuckoo-cuckoo!" hahah..you may not even have any idea what i'm talking about here but it was pure plain fun i tell you!

and finally someone familiar from college will be the new face in town. see you around school mr shakirin! (:

trembling

2008-07-03T20:59:00.003+08:00

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you...

I'm sorry that I hurt you...
And all the pain I put you through...
I wish I could take it all away...

last last weekend fun

2008-06-28T18:22:00.000+08:00

this is on potluck picnic two weeks back. well, for one it was a success. two, it does not lack fun. but three, only 5 of us turn up (and budi)! more on the numbers next time i hope!!

while waiting for muni who took eons to reach, we played that dino game. fanah was the ultimate pro...tumpahkan root beer, duduk kan card, ketawa macam hantu, timang pasir etc. etc. and for all that, she lost 11 or 12 ?? times! forfeit was suppose to be going up to a makcik to help carry the light plastic bag she was carrying eagerly while she was surrounded by her family but apparently, cik fanah kita masih ada sifat-sifat malu so she decided not to do that. but BUT, she was not malu enough to stand in the middle of no where, point towards the sky in the direction of an oncoming plane and shout "aeroplane! aeroplane!" like a mad excited kid, jumping around and all. hahahah...

and cik munirah kita datang dengan star karat nya, membawa bubble tea untuk diri SENDIRI and dah nak habis pun! she came and step salam-salam semua orang and say sorry pasal lambat due to JAM at TPE. padahal after much interogation, the most part she was late pasal overslept sampai nak tengahari. oh, dah lah tu...then still can "sorry lah...aku tak bawa apa-apa" and open her bag to reveal one bag of chips! (which she end up bringing back herself mind you! hahaha) muni muni...orang lain bawa sandwiches (even though kurang tuna), ice cream (even though dah cair), mango pudding (even though tak tau mana hilang), brownies (even though tak begitu menjadi), durian dan air berbotol-botol...kau bawa DIRI jer. tapi takpe kau bagus! =D

jangan marah yer muni for your "special" mention in my blog *tepuk peha muni* sayaaaaang muni! ;-b

anyway, since i brought a ball...we played soccer! although we look more like a couple of minahs congregating in front of a ball here...

okay more like playing soccer now...

then back to congregating minahs trying to kick a ball by pushing others, selit-menyelit in between others and shovelling sand...*shakes head* yes, this is what we do.

what's potluck picnic with the girls without durians? *points to chop durian 1st*

and we headed over to rp all the way from changi to support our dearest izzati for her match!

shagged, head spinning, full and sleepy BUT very happy indeed! :) :) :)

global audit intern

2008-06-27T14:37:00.004+08:00

A card of words I dedicate to you,
To show my utmost appreciation,
For your warm amiable welcome,
And your priceless guidance and mentorship.
Of SOX, CSA Reviews and Skills Matrix,
Performance Appraisal and Progress Template too,
You taught me considerably,
Lessons of working functions,
Lessons of life,
Of which I can’t pick along the streets,
Nor seek in my stacks of notes.
For one and for all,
My thanks and my gratitude,
A gift back to you.

a matter of choice

2008-06-25T10:54:00.004+08:00

i have always thought whatever we do or don't do is a result of our own doing. a right to decide and to choose. however, many a times we abuse what rights we have. at times, we even undermine them...only to blame circumstances that leave us with no choice but to resign to fate. is it really circumstances that lead to resignation? even our religion teaches us to persevere first, however trying the situation may be, before thinking about resigning ourselves to whatever fate there is.

i was again triggered by this theme of choice. this time, after reading steven chia's blog about national service here. while many men fear their awaiting torturous stint, many men whine 24/7 during their neverending stint and many men hated their passing waste-of-my-2-years stint. but at the same time, there are many men who are eager while waiting, positive while serving and grateful while reserving/retiring.

i was appaled when i read comments like this:

"i believe it is every Singaporean guy’s duty to speak negatively of National Service.
It is, after all, still a gross violation of human rights and blatant slavery. "

"to be concise, friendships are what made life great.Not NS.it has only brought pain and sufferings."

"To prevent spending too much money on defense, conscription is the only choice."

i'm a woman and may not so fully understand the backings to all this negative notions (so pardon me) but guys really, is this how you view protecting the women and children of your country (all your loved ones included; grandmama, mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, grand daughter, niece, friends etc.) ? gross violation of human rights? woah, such strong use of words. blatant slavery? hmm...are you not paid (albeit the meagre amount)? are you not fed? friendship not NS? you fostered meaningful, lifelong friendships THROUGH NS and here you are trying to make a distinction out of the two? getting citizens to stand up for OWN country is an economical stance? wow. i guess national pride, has a long way to go if this is where it stands.

oh wells...besides these few sad souls, i really hope the rest of us will choose wisely. to rid ourselves of negativity towards whatever challenging situations we undergo. to be smart by refusing to wallow oneself in self pity (which goes no where but to only shrink our own morale). to be positive and determined to learn something priceless and valuable (even how small that lesson would be) from anything that we do. to persevere even before thinking of resigning. afterall, happiness suffice when we finally learn to realise that the glass is half full. and i'm working on it... *smiles*

weekend fun

2008-06-22T18:53:00.016+08:00

haven't been exercising for nuts and suddenly, my weekend was written with it all over. night cycling was great, not gerek. i probably came with an expectation from a previous experience and all i can say is that i came to appreciate the whole thought and planning process from the previous one much much better. shouldn't delve into details. i still have unfinished business, i mean WE right ain? hahah. but in any case, who's gonna create fun for you if not for you yourself right? most of the participants were secondary school kids so mentel partner and me felt a little out of place and "kakak-kakak" there. luckily we have faces that could pass off as secondary school kids too so, the perfect blend! hahaha. during ice breakers, we had to list two real facts and a lie about us and get others to guess which was false. and i was blamed an outright liar for this, "i am 20 years old" (i think mental partner too) ish! oh, we had flag painting and it was fun! macam survivor moment. we had the best flag! woohoo~ i also like the fact that they brought the islamic war theme into the event. perang badar and perang uhud. laBADAR and chandUHUD. no points for guessing it right, we cycled to labrador park and bukit chandu. the hike up kent ridge park was torturous since we had to get off our bikes and push it up the steep winding road. really tested my endurance since a long time running. and i think me and ain were the only participants who brought digicam and cam-whored away. some commented that they don't get how we can keep clicking away irregardless of time and lethargy. on the other hand, WE don't get some of their peroccupation with being "single or attached?" or "unattached but unavailable" kinda thing. age mentality gap! ;-b

my wonderwall that night. for the one whom i could bitch with and the one who kept me sane when i'm near breaking point, thank YOU!

headed home for a light sleep and went back out to meet the girls for some futsal! although we played for just a couple of minutes, i had fun and definitely want to go play again if i'm asked. the girls contemplated another hour of play and for a split second i was tempted to. but the all too familiar advice, "don't tire yourself too much" ring a bell and i decided i was not game to play another hour in the condition i was in. sorry mentel partner for killing your semangatness. salute you for your stamina like that (to think you went for the same event with me the night before). really hope there is a next time for this. (: (: (:

data mining without consent?

2008-06-18T10:34:00.007+08:00

The Facebook craze sees many "ditching" Friendster for seemingly better and wider social networking pursuits. No doubt with applications such as the Email Friend Finder and Friend Suggestion, we get to be in touch with many whom we really know and matters. Albeit there are still the occasional strangers who add us for the sake of amplifying their matter of fact minute original network or god knows, hidden agendas, it again SEEMS as though we have control to contain and maintain our page. Or do we?

The tens and hundreds of application invitations scream for us to accept and 'beautify' our page. Sometimes, it gets too overwhelming we just delete them without bother looking at its content. Moreover, the hassle of registering the application following the routined cycle of inviting friends to accept our request of the same application can be another rather turning off factor. Why then bother to create many more applications by the day and overloading millions of pages with invitations?

"A Flashy Facebook Page, at a Cost to Privacy"

Some of the things written in this Washington Post article:

Those mini-programs, called widgets or applications, allow users to personalize their pages and connect with friends and acquaintances. But they could pose privacy risks. Some security researchers warn that developers of the software have assembled too much information --home town, schools attended, employment history -- and can use the data in ways that could harm or annoy users.

When a user installs one (program) on Facebook, which has 70 million members, the developer can see everything in a profile...and developers are allowed to keep those data for only 24 hours.

But it is often difficult to tell when developers are breaking the rules by, for example, storing members' data for more than 24 hours, said Adrienne Felt, who recently studied Facebook security at the University of Virginia.

She examined 150 of the most popular Facebook applications to find out how much data could be gathered. Her research, which was presented at a privacy conference last month, found that about 90 percent of the applications have unnecessary access to private data.

"Once the information is on a third-party server, Facebook can't do anything about it," she said.

Revealing information on quizzes or maps of places visited, for instance, may also make it easier for strangers to piece together tidbits to create larger security threats, said Alessandro Acquisti, assistant professor of public policy and information systems at Carnegie Mellon University. Some online activities ask users to list pets' names or to display their high school's mascot, answers to common security questions asked by financial companies.

"Nowadays, some people have downloaded so many [applications], it's a constant flow of information about what they've done, what they're doing, which can be mined by your friends and also by someone you don't know anything about," he said.

You can read the whole article here.

Since reading this, I have in fact taken down many of the applications I've once installed out of naivety. So my friends, think twice before we download more applications in Facebook. Yes, it is addictive and yes, it is still subject to own perspective of what you want to make up of this article. I am just here to share.

At the end of the day, nicely summed up in one of the comments:
"The internet will always be used by both good and bad people for different purposes. If you intentionally give your personal information away, you don't deserve privacy."

there's so much I wanna say, don't know where to start

2008-06-16T09:45:00.005+08:00

in the midst,
the falling leaves seem to cry,
the sun seems too bright,
the morning crowd seems oblivious.
why?
the nonchalant chirps seem to fly,
the clear blue sky seems to hide,
and I seem vague...quickly blurring out,
smudging the beautiful landscape of a canvas.

For good I realise, time doesn't wait for us. Time doesn't wait for us to reconcile our satiety. We have to settle our contenment when circumstances take even the slightest detour. And with that, I count my blessings. Being a part of something is better than being a part of nothing. Learning to accept a condition is a subtle scrimmage I'll vanquish and subdue. There is no plea to the workings of a natural course. It happens and will continue to transpire. It is not a fault nor an onus to vow an unfathomable failing promise. I fully acknowledge, with much hope it transcends my fears.

new comforts

2008-06-15T23:30:00.012+08:00

Those who think I really meant "nanti hilang seri bilik anak dara" must be joking right? Hahah...I just didn't have time to take pictures proper. So here's some random shots of the new room I so love. (:

looking forward to you

2008-06-13T13:17:00.004+08:00

Oh gosh, I must have been either very dazed or utter ignorant. The restroom is just outside the office so while on my way out just now, as per usual I tapped the small panel that would unlock the door. Pushed the left door panel...it won't budge. Recep looked at me and told me the door is open and I was puzzled. Tapped the panel again. The door is OPEN! Glanced at the door again and there, the right door panel was wide ajar! We looked at each other and laughed at my silliness. *hides myself under my hands*

The room makeover is completed! Over the weekends, the transformation was rather drastic (ok, I'm just being very dramatic here) but yes, I'm very pleased with it. It was so tiring yet satisfying. I've thrown guess what? 7 big black plastic bags of rubbish! Wow...I am shock myself at how much dump I kept beneath all those quite, neat wardrobe and drawers. Thanks to my family for rendering all the help, dad especially! And no Kak Noor, I won't post pictures of my new room (just yet). Takut hilang seri bilik anak dara. *mentelmacampaham*

Girl talks, catching up are love. I feel blessed to have insightful girlfriends who are ever so inspiring and supportive. Knowingly or not, we sometimes get caught up in our whirlwind of thoughts. Most of the times fingers point, accusing or assuming issues about others when in fact, they are just reflections of ourselves. If we are constantly wondering about these issues "supposedly" others have and thinking that they are affecting us, I don't know...I just think it's WE who are having issues with ourselves for not being able to drop that mentality.

I've also been attending Usrah sessions with my NTU sisters, twice so far. Thanks to my darling, my dearest, my sayang and my love, Nab for inviting me over (Sidetrack a bit...Congratulations babe! I can't congratulate you enough and I'm so happy for you. Was it just yesterday we were so kental in our blue pinafolds, gossiping so ignorantly and conversing so childishly? No it was not. That was more than 10 years ago. I love you *smiles*). Alhamdulillah, there's so much that I took from it and I'm looking forward to more. Hopefully the door of opportunities is always open for me, InsyaAllah. Discussions that take advantage of the application to our everyday lives is what's so intriguing about it. The beauty of Almighty's verses. It inspires me to think and ponder alot, in a good way definitely. I'll probably share in another entry cause if not, this one will definitely be too long for my standards.

Oh, someone else was just fooled by the door too! hahahah...

a piece of the love thread

2008-06-10T23:50:00.003+08:00

"I put my daily thoughts into this Rhapsody.
Deliver my feeling of appreciation.
Thanks for always. Thanks, for real.
You've made everything crystal and incredibly surreal."

- unknown

a sweet torment

2008-06-06T09:54:00.003+08:00

Far up mountain alps

Missing silence breeds longing

Till next we meet, love.

to You, i believe

2008-06-04T23:03:00.007+08:00

with serendipity, comes soothing calmness and predestined goodness. alhamdulillah good results (: how not to miss my previous semester with all its chilled out mugging sessions, you tell me?

last semester seems just yesterday. and it past like a gentle gush of wind teasing through leaves. looking forward to the next breeze...

revamp!

2008-06-03T22:55:00.002+08:00

over the weekends, i tagged the family along to ikea to do some shopping with me. i wanted to make slight changes to my room which involves getting myself a study table. yes, some of you should know that i don't have one in my room and its getting inconvenient as the semesters go by. i had a budget to work with and i thought i'd just do some surveying first but it turns out, i got them right away! a study table, a comfortable chair, two billy book case, a mobile drawer, a book shelf and a mural mirror. just slightly over budget but very satisfied with my purchases. and since that was settled, my mum wants to makeover my room completely before raya and i'm excited! i'm going white! coming up will be a change to a white bed frame and white wardrobe. going to tidy the room to make way for the new furnitures over the coming weekend. oh, and i'm painting the room lilac! i can so picture everything falling into place cosily in my head right now~~~ (:

and i bumped into ah soh! i think we spent 10 mins laughing at each other. ah soh sekalang dah up, talak jual sayur kat pasar lagi...sekalang jual langsir. wah, lu manyak bagus lah ah soh ;-b

here's a shoutout to the malay aj girls! i'm organizing a pot luck picnic and i've emailed you girls. there's a whole thread going on so for those who have not replied, please ah...you all know what to do hahahh. tentatively i think it should be on the 14th at changi. looking forward to see all of you, i miss you girls! (: (: (:

lucky

2008-05-29T22:52:00.003+08:00

i am so free at work and since depressingly there isn't msn, i could only serve the net aimlessly anddd, i found this! new song duet by two of my current favourite singers; jason mraz and colbie caillat. i love it and i think it's clever. made me smile so much on my own in office (: somehow, it reminds me of music & lyrics' way back into love...

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

beautiful ain't it? happy lovely song (: (: (:
now, where's my happy yummy food? ;-b

brief one

2008-05-27T22:53:00.002+08:00

quick catching up with roseline, my previous ocbc sup. surprisingly she told me the excitement and sparkle in my eyes since nearly a year ago (phew, THAT was fast) when i was working with her are now somewhat gone/missing. at first, i didn't know how to react to that but as i made time to ponder about my most current evolution, i realize there was some truth to it. well, those dreary eyes may have probably been contributed by lethargy from my first day at work. considering the fact that i had been home most of the time prior to that, it would probably take some time for my bio rhythms to adjust and adapt to new changes in the workings of my body. but in any case, that couldn't be the only reason as to why she said that, could it? or so i thought. in wonderment, i discovered deeper insights about myself...that somehow, along the way i have become more reserved in my vocals, introverted in my courage and quiet in my actions. typing this may seem a complete irony don't you think? hahah :-b well, my point is: being more silent and 'tamed', so to speak, isn't such a bad thing after all. because sometimes, we are too caught up with the worldly world; the age of impressions, perceptions and judgments, that we get too boastful and so full of ourselves knowingly or pretense, unknowingly. whether we realize or don't realize it, we fall trap into our own pity all the same. it's really a pity isn't it (see? i'm doing it. sheesh). okay, i may probably not make sense in my ramblings already. tah!

i am too

2008-05-25T21:23:00.009+08:00

when rain falls with its thunders and lightnings, it will not fall forever...
sun's definitely going to shine on us again

when wind gush its gentle cool sweeps, it will not gush forever...
drought's definitely going to warm up to us again

have you ever listened to sutra warna just before mag? the songs played and words of wisdoms shared could meddle with your heart for they meant so truly, like an arrow through a bull's eye. especially when you are at your lowest, alone and dejected, wishing for someone who could come and comfort you and assure you things are going to be alright. sometimes it is tiring to understand others and comfort them when you know you are in need of some comfort yourself. that you too, face your own set of challenges. that you are not as strong as others assume you to be. that it's sad that they think you don't need any sort of relieve and retreat for they think you are capable of doing so yourself. that it is even more exhausting to calm your heart in such given circumstances. but most of all, that it is heart wrenching that when you so need it, you could not turn to Him and be grateful to Him for giving you such gifts of challenges to nudge you of your countless ungratefulness.

success does not mean joy and happiness, failure does not mean depression and sufferings

tomorrow's the start of my internship at Levi Strauss. somehow, i'm relieved the field assignment to Indonesia was cancelled. call me conventional or what-have-you but actually, i can't quite yet imagine how's 3 weeks going to be like without my normal sight and sound of familiarity. i know i got to be doing some travelling alone in the future; learning how to be independent, feeling foreign, adapting to difference, managing missing people etc. but probably it's just a sign that i'm not ready and it's not my time as yet, so chill! (: so much for needing Bahasa as a requisite? well, it's my gain in any case. hopefully it's going to be smooth sailing, or bearable the least. hehe...

Perjalanan masa
Mengajar hati
Semakin tabah kini
Di dalam kemarau dan gerimis
Aku tetap tabah mengharungi

Tuhan
Aku bagaikan sebutir pasir
Yang lemah lagi kerdil
Teguhkan keimanan jiwaku
Agar tidak terpesong darimu

- fauziah latiff

pocket full of sunshine

2008-05-23T11:46:00.004+08:00

these days, i think, lyrics express me better.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh.

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
No.

Take me away, A secret place.
A sweet escape, Take me away.
Take me away, To better days.
Take me away, A hiding place.

There's a place that I go,
But nobody knows.
Where the rivers flow,
And I call it home.

And there's no more lies.
In the darkness, there's light.
And nobody cries.
There's only butterflies.

The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.

I know I'll be all right.

always have been

2008-05-19T17:31:00.008+08:00

Sikap mu meremukkan hati
Sengaja kau kenang lagi
Kisah menyentuh hati

Gelisah diri ini
Adakah ku diuji

Kasih ku yang terlalu dalam
Usahlah dipersendakan
Sabar dan kejujuran jadi akar cinta
Agar kita bahagia

Berdiri aku di sini bukan untuk seketika
Berdiri aku sebagai perindu
Meski pun jiwa ku sedih
Terasa bagai dihiris
Namun ku tersenyum selalu
Ku sentiasa beri kesempatan
Semoga ada ruang kemesraan

Kita yang punya perasaan
Terkadang rasa terkilan
Janganlah dikeruhkan
Kasih yang sedang tenang
Kerana ku merindu

- ibnor riza

here with you

2008-05-17T13:49:00.003+08:00

"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"

There are many a times when we feel that our dreams cannot be grasped. Perception of fear and (probably prior) failure shapes this traitorous influence. Especially so, when we are jolted from a test (or two), beyond our hopes and expectations. However, with a strong believe in the purity and decency of the things we wish for, fight on shall we. We must not give up nor lose hope. Faith will follow us through.

uber cuteness

2008-05-15T20:59:00.003+08:00

just something to share...this boy is so so so cute, my goodness.

i promise you, boy won't you regret watching this one. (: (: (:

tingles in a silly place

2008-05-14T22:18:00.005+08:00

as the waves crash against the shore,
the soothing sound of nature comforts and calms.
dear serenity of unfolding landscape,
let not be told this secret we share.
for i want you for my own,
for i want to keep running back to you in all smiles,
to breathe your blissful welcoming scent,
to let your waves dance in the sparkle of my eyes,
to let your gush of cold embrace my whole.

surprise, surprise...i got all bored too soon. staying in for the last couple of days felt more like a couple of weeks. finally, a dose of outdoor fresh air. a visit to the library was a fruitful one. i managed to get whole of two other coelho's books; 'the alchemist' and 'the devil and miss prym'. started on a few pages of the former and i'm excited to get going, doing something priceless yet productive, deriving comfort and satisfaction all the same (probably even more). oh, i got 'ayat ayat cinta', the novel too (much thanks)! ahhh...the joy of reading, to those with a liking and have all the time in the world that is (:

on a side note, my tembam cheeks (below) are getting better. though after much suffering from bleeding gums, throat ulcer and porridge after porridge. quaker oats was a nice alternative (:

and i still managed a smile!

holding on

2008-05-11T20:18:00.004+08:00

mentel partner came to visit me in the morning today, bringing tau huey and chicken porridge. well, she was supposed to came yesterday morning but due to her "semangatness", she overslept! *slaps forehead* true blue mak dara...hahahh

1st JJCM indoors

no, she didn't feed me. this was just for the camera ;-b

i had to hold my cheeks most of the time to prevent myself from smiling or laughing the whole time she was around. thanks partner for "helping" me to laugh cause i can't. and please remember your chocolate boy! don't neglect him anymore ok...kesian dia *lol* :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

ayat ayat cinta mengajar kita untuk senantiasa sabar dan ikhlas menjalani segala kekusutan dunia.

semoga kita dipenuhi dengan segenap kesabaran dan keikhlasan dalam menempuhi cabaran dan dugaan hidup.

amin.

desir pasir di padang tandus
segersang pemikiran hati
terkisah ku di antara cinta yang rumit

bila keyakinanku datang
kasih bukan sekadar cinta
pengorbanan cinta yang agung
ku pertaruhkan

maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
cintaku padamu
bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
ketika ku bersujud

home

2008-05-09T17:09:00.004+08:00

from wisdom tooth surgery. it was quite an experience. those who know me should be aware of how penakut i am when it comes to ops. my past op experience has made me become very phobia and sensitive towards this issue. though it may be just a minor day surgery as compared to the previous more major one, i was still very anxious and scared.

the story goes back to late last year when those teeth started giving me problems. i shook it off till feb/mar this year when i finally decided to go to the polyclinic cause the pain got a tad unbearable during that period of time. got referral from the dentist to meet specialist. so i went, only to find out i had TWO impacted tooth, instead of one (or so i thought). i need a surgery...to have a normal extraction of two of the upper wisdom tooth and an op for two of the lower impacted ones. i was given 2 choices: between 1) two separate local anaesthesia to remove one upper and one lower tooth for each session and 2) one general aneasthesia to remove all FOUR at one go. being the rational me, i chose the second option simply because i think it's better to get it over and done with at one go AND i'm under general, so there's comfort in not being awake and hearing all the funny noises but feeling numb. furthermore, there might be a high possibility of me refusing to go for the second local session because i got a phobia of pain from the first.

so there you go, i opted for general anaesthesia thinking it's the smartest choice. but lo and behold, when people asked me how many tooth i'm extracting and i replied all FOUR, i got shocked/surprised/in awe response from them, making me doubt/think inside whether i'm crazy for choosing to remove all FOUR at one go (and especially since two needs to be operated, its not your normal easy, chicken-feet extractions. it's going to hurt, like mad). what am i thinking??? i started to panic silently to myself. luckily, there was exams to keep my mind very much occupied...not for long i guess.

the day finally came, today which is. didn't have much time to let my hair down and party after exams, what with tuition back to back till yesterday night. how depressing, i know. i had butterflies in my stomache from when i woke up till the time i reach the hospital. but well, in any case, i got to the day surgery clinic and was asked to change into the op robe. i was lost in the robe till the nurse had to say, "i need to check your weight" when she saw me out from the loo with my new outfit on. and so i was weighed. 40kg. not bad at all. i gained 1kg! :-D

then, i was pushed to the op room. they "parked" me outside the room because there was an ongoing op inside. i think it was the malay girl my age who went in first. while i was parked there, around 4 nurses and 3 docs (one of which was my anaesthesian) came to visit me. all of which asked me the same set of "daunting" questions: "what's your full name?" (look at hospital tag), "what's your i/c number" (look at hospital tag), "when was your last meal?", "do you have any drug allergy?", "are you having any fever, cough, runny nose?", "do you undergo any op before?", "are they any complications with your previous op?". really man, how many times do you need to ask to be very sure you are operating the right patient for the right surgery? it made me doubt, for a brief moment, i'm in safe hands and that they ever are going to be real darn certain. hahahh...ok so my turn finally came, to be pushed into the op room. and the nurse had to ask one last question, "you are really 40kg?" haishhhhhhh moving on...........

woke up with a spinning head, shivering like hell. the pain in my mouth started to sink in my brain. tilt my head left, and then to the right...no familiar faces. i cried. bawled to be more precise. the nurse had to calm me down and asked me what's the matter. i cant talk so i just shook my head n cried some more. she asked whether i'm cold. i nodded and she tucked my blanket higher. she told me she's going to push me to the ward very very soon. i was so relieved.

back at ward, saw the familiar faces i wanted to see and bawled harder. it was as if i'm trying to tell them i'm in a lot of pain but i'm very grateful to see them. i was given pain killer and tried to sleep. my tongue and lower lip were so numb, i cant even feel the water the nurse gave me...it dripped out from my mouth uncontrollably. i feel like an old haggard grandmother that needs to be nursed because she cant control her movements anymore. oh, and it doesn't help when i wanted to pee, the nurse wanted to bring a bed pan for me! i refused and forced myself out of bed, to the loo.

so now i'm home. can feel my tongue and lip. however, the stitches in my mouth are still very painful. there you go, i'm not so brave afterall. that explains why the recount is very dramatic. i'm sure many others who have undergone wisdom tooth surgery may think i'm such a baby. hehehe...

thanks to dad -- for sending me, fadzli -- for being there all the time, big bro -- for feeding me the ice cream, mum & bro -- for visiting me, mentel partner -- for your smses, nab & kak noor & latiff & abg naz & cikgu & all others who knew -- for your well wishes

*i'm all smiles (: (: (: despite............................(ok ok i shall stop here)* ;-b

over you

2008-05-06T22:22:00.002+08:00

hmm, not exactly in the mood...but i've promised, so i shall.

the exams are finally over! despite the challenges, despite the moments of stress...i'm actually going to miss this one. the mugging sessions, the pats on the back and the encouraging words of wisdoms are all so comforting. so, my thanks to those who matters (:

err, i think i'll come back here again later...really, not an idea. till then!

you'll always be a part of me
i'm part of you indefinitely
boy, don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on
time can't erase a feeling this strong
no way you never gonna shake me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

a little bit

2008-04-28T00:17:00.004+08:00

there is a fine line between "not missing" and "forgetting".

at times, when we get very much busy and occupied with other priorities in life, we do not have time to miss certain dearly things simply because we do not have the luxury to think and devote our attention on them. however, when the mind gets excessively involved in other physical, mental and emotional activities, we may be dissuaded from the mere remembrance of these dearly things. simply put, we forget.

well, this syndrome of "not missing" or "forgetting" may be just a matter of choice. isn't it not a choice to take time off from whatever undertakings to do others? isn't it not a choice to stop in our tracks just for a moment to appreciate some other things we take for granted? what we choose to do or not to do is a true testament of how much effort we want to put into safekeeping those dearly things. i hope we are among those who put in our best effort to treasure and cherish what dearly things we have; to not forget, to remember, to think and most importantly, to miss.

so i'd say, please miss me cause i don't want to risk being forgotten. (:

Haziq's 9th

2008-04-20T23:25:00.007+08:00

was celebrated at pasir ris park with pure fun! as always, when there's food...and entertaining family members to keep you company, you tend to forget the upcoming exams (well, a very much needed break) and the stress that loads with it for a while. hehe...

the cake was suppose to be a number 9 actually...refund! hahahh

my mentel khaki...it runs in the family ;-b

the finger food i painstakingly skewed

butter prawns!!! long story behind this haha. my aunt cooked it there and we took a vid of her mari memasak session (hilarious stuff!) "gaul butter sampai cair, kalau tak cair gaul sampai malam...sengihkan udang, selepas itu kita goreng pakai minyak masak, kalau tak ada pakai minyak urut atau minyak gamat pun boleh...daun kari kita masukkan satu pokok, kalau daun kari tak ada daun karaplay atau rumput pun boleh...maklumlah cuaca membuat masakkan kita lambat hari ini, memandangkan disebelah utara (points right) snow". just some of the merepekness :D

didn't take pictures of my brother, the birthday boy, because my camera died during the cake cutting/party spray/doa selamat ceremony. nonetheless, he better be happy (evil sister me, nyeheh). i scarificed my $80 voucher to get him a brand new hp okay!

sang (wailed is more apt, i think) this song many times during the birthday yesterday. my "i'm-addicted-to-this-song" for the moment...

Hanya ingin kau tahu

Ku telah miliki

Rasa indahnya perihku

Rasa hancurnya harapku

Kau lepas cintaku

Rasakan abadi

Sekalipun kau mengerti

Sekalipun kau pahami

Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu

Besarnya cintaku

Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini

Di setiap hariku

Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku

All the best for the exams all you school-goers! =)

this, i wanna remember

2008-04-16T02:07:00.004+08:00

sappy emotive soul, out this system

happy as it is, don't rob it from me

uninvited plight, wash it away...wash

back to that, it shall not be

by the breakwater, just i and thee

this i pray, a sacred meet.

go! go! go!

2008-04-11T21:18:00.003+08:00

i'll always be there right by your side,

you never should ever run and hide,

whenever you need me, i will be waiting,

to give you everything and more so...

it takes appreciative actions, comforting words and reassuring company to make me trust. i'm starting to believe...

it has been considerably blissful these days. even with the tests and assignment taking the days and nights out of me, there's a comfort in the mind and soul that i am very grateful for. with that and although the past weeks have been hectic (thus, that explains the lack of updates), the sound of life and hope i'm beginning to hear makes me wanna sing and dance *jumps around* thank god the assignment is O-V-E-R! it's so liberating...woohoo~

now, it's just left with the exams which i cant wait for it to end. more catching up, more outings, more dates, more meet ups, more chit chat sessions and more jalan2 carik makan plssss!

birthdays

2008-04-09T23:56:00.009+08:00

I miss the six-of-us!!! Ahhhh...can we have a complete six-of-us meet up with nad too? Celebrated Anisah's and Azra's 21st...steamboat at Azra's was yummeh! Really nice catching up...you girls have no idea how much i miss US and our days back at college *group hug*

the spread...just getting started

prick the housewife

mari makan!!!

glorious food...

4/6 of six-of-us

me and MINAH! hehe...

okay lets do bugger face...

surprise!!!

cheeky bugger with her crumplerrrr

classic bugger face

funky tiger shoes, i like!

group pic!!!

Ok here's a birthday shoutout to all the April babies:
Latiff's 25th, 2nd April -- Here's to many more wonderful birthdays! Take care (:

Fadzli's 24th, 6th April -- The kental pakcik is getting old...hope you had fun on your birthday!

Azra's 21st, 8th April -- BUGGER...hahaha, what more can i say ;b

Anisah's 21st, 11th April -- Dear mafia sister, please eat more...you are seriously too thin laaaah!

Haziq's 9th, 22nd April -- Study hard and please behave yourself in school!

Isa's 23rd, 22 April -- Though we are not that close, cuzzies still rocks!

life is wonderful

2008-03-23T16:47:00.003+08:00

blessed with simple pleasures in life makes it well, just so wondeful. in the midst of distress...the impromptu randomness of unplanned plans, the feel of cold breeze caressing your face, the picturesque landscape unfolding in front of you and the touch of familiarity and blissful warmth carves a smile on your face like no other. that's when you know...you have something good to keep, something priceless to cherish.

one point to note in self-realization: being in sync with positivity, optimism, light-heartedness and carefree happiness gets you the much needed reciprocated results. try, it's not too hard to try. (:

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
And it takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
It takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la it is so...

It takes some silence to make sound
And It takes a loss before you found it
And It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la it is so... wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful
Full Circle
Wonderful

a moment's happiness

2008-03-19T02:25:00.000+08:00

3 tests out of the way; 2 tests and 1 assignment to go.

the cyclical essence of workings is a gentle reminder to be grounded at peaks and be prepared for unfailing recessionaries. when interdependency has become a routined reliance, the feared scripted sequel is much distressed.

Aqilah's 7th!

2008-03-13T22:06:00.005+08:00

and so the girl's birthday was celebrated at a pit near the newly opened big splash. i think it was just a big hype about that area, unless the practical outlook of a new amenities area i'd say (an alternative to the mac's area). the cake's yummy, we had fun and aqilah's happy so Happy 7th again! picturesss...

tourist fun

2008-03-06T21:17:00.013+08:00

and so we had jln2 cari makan in march! i was still in bed when mentel partner sms-ed that she's already out and on the way. i was so tempted to snuggle back into bed considering the rainy cold weather BUT of course the "semangat-ness" took over me! hehe *mentel*...and so breakfast was all the way to tekka market in search for appam/apom!

the ultimate budget breakfast for two: *speak in mamak taking order tone* 2 appam/apom, 1 egg thosai, 1 hot milo and 1 teh tarik "okay? dhal? dhal?" >>> internal joke (ain didn't want dhal for the thosai and the person was asking..and we were like huh? what was he saying? dah? done? ooooooooooh dia tanya dhal? rupanya)

as ain would put it..we were so 'tak kena gaya' there at the tekka market. all around were the 'older gens' looking at us with their awkward stares like what is this 2 little girls doing here...sesat ke? some pakcik pakai songkok even dengen miangnya,"jemput makan..." ewwww!

after breakfast we decided to roam little india arcade and feel like tourist. at one shop, "aunty come inside take a look!" AUNTY eh??? then, we bought sweets and the uncle was like, "from where? far? fly here? indonesia come ah?" and mentel partner semangatly layan, "ah, jauh datang dari indonesia" hahahahah!

we then headed to national lib for our supposed study date. the courtyard is a really nice place to study!

late lunch/early dinner at "SABAR MENANTI" cause SOMEONE crave to eat minang kabau food! turns out, more like the people have to 'sabar menanti' we finish eating cause we are apparently one of the last customers before they close shop. but yummy food! menjilat jari...

on the way back, i did tudung shopping at arab street! oh and at little india, we bought cheap cheap mentel banglesss. AND lastly, SOMEONE decided NOT to go for the investment talk.... -_- semangat 46 short lived!

randomness

2008-03-03T22:04:00.012+08:00

lazing around on my sofa on a sunday afternoon, when i was asked out on a random date! *mentel* and so i accompanied izzati to nus ilsa tari & silat performance at UCC. the dance was nice, i particularly like the rasuk dance..eeriee but great! the silat was erm, how should i put it......obscene & comedic? i was laughing so hard at the guys who were desperately trying to put their weapons back properly & quickly in their waist pouch. so anyways, after the performance magan & us went to guess where for supper? SIMPANG! okay, that was like my idea cause i had to give not one, but TWO simpang outing a miss prior to that. so roti john, satay & cheese fries were my revenge! someone is so *mentel*..i WONDER who. self-professed president of mentel club with NO members, racing/flirting with ang moh guy on the road with signals & inching forward (ewww) tsk tsk..dengan mamak & abang taking order also can flirt..triple tsk tsk tsk! but in any case, thank YOU for being a "gentle" date for picking me up & sending me back home (: (: (:

refresh

2008-03-01T23:13:00.006+08:00

Time after time

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Turning in circles confusion--
Is nothing new
Flashback--to warm nights--
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories,
Time after--sometimes

You picture me--
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said--
Then you say--go slow--
I fall behind--
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time.......Time after time

After your picture fades
Darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows--i'm wondering
If you're OK
You said go slow--
I fall behind
The drum beats out of time--

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time .......Time after time
Time after time ,Time after time,Time after time

beautiful song, i love eva cassidy

happy leap day!

2008-02-29T23:12:00.003+08:00

how was your 29th feb? i know mine's good (:

anyway, i was reading a book on how to be the one people like, listen to, and remember. i particularly find something interesting on 'how to turn every conversation into a connection'.

there's this 1 scenario on how to get the uninterested spouse to watch a football game on a sunday afternoon during football season. the winning communicator would say something along these lines, "the game comes on in a few mins & i want to watch it, start to finish. i know you don't like football, but i know i like hanging out with you. can i have my cake and eat it too? will you bring your laptop out here on the couch with me, or maybe just some light reading you need to do? it will make the game more fun for me to have you nearby. the game will be over at four & we can head to Home Depot to get the paint & brushes i know you want."

now the losing communicator, "the game comes in a few mins, & i thought even though you dislike football, i'd like you to stay out here. i work hard all week & this is my only chance to veg out. tell you what: as soon as the game is over, we'll head straight to Home Depot to pick up the paint & brushes you want. i think that's more than fair."

key pointer: replace building anger & an impending argument with tranquility & togetherness. it's interesting how the same scenario could lead to very different outcomes by just the little changes in the words you choose to use.

i guess, we would better appreciate and feel appreciated if words and actions aren't clouded by sarcasm and ill-feels.

more than just a shoulder

2008-02-24T16:31:00.008+08:00

i'm not smiling at you or with you, i'm smiling because of you..

chapters in books, episodes in dramas. "how's life?" someone asked. "been sailing," i answered.

in life, it's simple economics..there is no constant. we may assume ceteris paribus to generalise the realities in mechanisms for easy understanding but in the long run, nothing is fixed. there are so many variables, no doubt never exhaustive if you list. it doesn't matter then what the sea condition is, why you sailing a certain direction, where you sailing to, how you sail or with whom. matter of fact is, you will still need to sail on..how rough the sea condition will be, how possibly wrong your direction is, how uncertain you are about the destination, how not right your method of sailing can be or how lonely you get without company on baord. no matter what, you've got a walk ahead.

the only constant i would argue for is ourselves. we are our imaginary friend, we are the ones who stick with us through thick and thin.

what's my point in this entry? the quote in my last.

have a thought, if you bother (:

p.s. guess what?

2008-02-23T22:11:00.003+08:00

No one is guaranteed happiness,
life just gives us time and space.
It’s up to us to fill it with joy and meaning.

maklacooked

2008-02-19T11:41:00.016+08:00

..that was what mentel ain named the zipped folder containing pictures from our mentel cooking session at her house. sungguh tak senonoh..BUT it was fun ah. hahahh..and so, featuring mentel makla as the cooking chef and mentel ain as the cooking assistant cum host for dapur mentel!

mentel ain: "nampaknya baunya sudah naik ya..ape perlu kita lakukan sekarang?"
mentel makla: "ya..puan puan..baunya sudah naik, jadi sekarang kita masukkan cendawan butang yang telah kita hiris tadi dan gaul lagi hingga sebati"
mentel ain: "puan puan saje? tuan tuan takde?" *giggles and stop stirring*
mentel makla: "ya..puan puan saje..tuan tuan jangan sibok. cakap pun cakap juga, tapi gaul jangan tak gaul..nanti hangus sosnya!!!"

a successful mentel cooking session! no worries. while i was there, i was well fed by ain. lemang and rendang, mac and cheese, donuts and rose syrup. yummy happy food! oh, not forgetting the 4 pairs of shoes and slip of the tongue..! ehehehehh...*mentel*

grouchy

2008-02-15T19:34:00.002+08:00

my gigi is sakit. i'm getting a toothache, literally this time.

bored.

2008-02-13T14:54:00.002+08:00

it's already the second week of my holiday break and this week is suppose to be study week for the midterm tests which is not next week, but starting the week after next. it's like..i'm having one test every week for 4 weeks in a row..den after those 4 weeks, my law of investments assignment will due. yes i know, the schedule is a little weird but i shan't complain? i have so much time (a whole week) to study for every test. I'm starting pretty slow on the revision..the progress hasn't been so wonderful and like every other student, blame it on procrastination! hahahhh..i can so see myself scrambling at the last minutes but oh well, i welcome the pressure. somehow, i think i work better under pressure..but i know i know, i shouldn't make that as an excuse to slack too much. So here i am, taking a break from burying myself in my texts, notes and review questions.

i want this week to past quick so that i will be more occupied with going to school, though just pathetically attending lectures. actually, i want every week to past quickly to make way for the next week and the next and the next and the next! it just feels great to have something to look forward to every week.. (: even if it's just having free nights for myself to do things that i like (and not tutor!) gahhh..i'm so glad i did not undertake the teaching path and i am where i am right now. i dread teaching (i don't mind lecturing though - there IS a difference). doesn't mean you are able to learn, you can teach just as well. please realize there is no such basis for comparing these two aspects of education.

i think i've rambled too much..so next week, come quick pretty please! hehe...

mentel date!

2008-02-12T12:26:00.000+08:00

we had our mentel dinner at mad jack & mentel's crave for cold dessert at island creamery just across the street. oh, i really think that place is cool and cosy..though we went on weekend when it was quite packed. probably it'll be a lil nicer if there's less people (so all the more tak tau malu to bermentel & camwhore! hahah...) ;-b

we had nutella, burnt caramel & i cant remember what with mini m&m's topping & powdered milo/ horlicks..yummy happy food! (: sinful sinful..tsk.

mentel ain..tengok, "baca" mag pun nak tersengih sorang2..haiiiiiiii *shakes head*

Hi manis! SOMEONE's getting more mentel! dah lah aku kena teman send dzul off at the airport, nak pergi toilet laaaa...panas laaaa...berpeluh laaa..."jodoh tangan tuhan" laaa...paiseh laaaa...sedih laaa...nak nangis laaa..."biar ku bersendirian" laaa..
--------------------------------------------------------------

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told...

No Happy Ending

2008-02-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

sometimes we tend to not think before we speak or react to certain situations. they say, that's when you think with your heart and not your mind. thinking with our hearts, albeit displaying our true feelings and emotions, might not always be of a good thing. when we respond passionately towards something (and not mindfully), we tend not to think about the consequences of our actions..that we may hurt other's feelings or be judged for our irrational behaviour. we are just on the verge of wanting to let certain things go and express it out like a bursting pipe without considering the after-effect of our impulsive dash. sometimes, the source of our display of expressiveness may not even be in close vicinity. it may be something so far-fetched that it seems so unfair some pretty innocent people have to bear the drench of our bursting pipe. so perhaps, thinking with our heads helps at times? *shrugs*

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
- mika

shopping getaway

2008-02-04T15:28:00.001+08:00

The tanjung pinang shopping trip over the weekends was great minus the sea-sickness, home-sickness and all the other sickness ;-b clever me, popped the sea-sickness pills right before getting on baord when the pils take 1/2 hr to take effect. oh wells, i still think the pills didn't help much. Probably not "strong" enough. But despite the not-so-enjoyable 1 1/2 hr ride to & fro on the wave master, it was worth it! The itinerary was really packed. Reached, checked in hotel, "play water" in the pool, eat, out shopping, back for short rest, out shopping again, back & out again for seafood, sleep, out again for more shopping..you get the idea. (:

at the terminal..ready to go!

wave master turned out to be a disaster for me! hehe..the boat we went on.

reached hotel & the 1st thing i did was to venture out snapping pictures..

the pool was right in front of our hotel rooms..so obviously the tempt.

bagssssss galore. we spent hours at this shop..cheap fakes are hard to find these days. hahah!

along the streets..we even visited the wet market

ready made spices anyone?

and so at the end of it, contented with my shopping! mentel ain & dearest nab, i got your chloe & coach respectively. you girls better treat me! hahah..meet up soon~

tomorrow's tuesday, so yay!

double R

2008-01-31T22:13:00.000+08:00

it's definitely nice to talk just about everything & forget for once. especially when there's water around to keep you at peace, tranquility & calmness. especially when no one could possibly disrupt the serenity you kept very much sealed. (:

its been quite some time..movie treat to rambo 4 was breath-taking, jaw-dropping, hair-raising & nerve-wrecking. the reality of genocide & cruelness to the innocence. oh man..

dinner at rament ten! pictures...

nice ambience & sexy lightings! ;-b

my pam darling..

all mine (:

But all I know is everything's gonna be alright..

ketulusan hati

2008-01-27T23:53:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we need to know how to stand on our own two feet. Be brave & bold in making our own decisions. When we start second-guessing ourselves, it's no wonder people will doubt us too. Think on our toes.

once in a few blue moon (aiseh bedah), the cuzzie had an open house (pasal nak sambut juara lagu punya pasal). so OBVIOUSLY no one is going to give this a miss (hahah!). Nasi lemak you menjilat jari kaki, sumpah tak bedek! And as we all know, the result for AJL was disappoiting. Fazli Zainal didnt win..(kak noh, besok at work bukak lagu harapan from 9 to 6 ok? hehehee)

the fruit cocktail that i only manage to snap..(rabak, limited edition..toleh balik nak makan dah habis!)

the dol mat is getting cheekier by day..("where hand pain?" *shows his left palm which got scalded by the iron* tsk..)

yes, i'm gushing over his singing (starts at 3.ooth min). my heart melts & my knees wobble.. (:

next..............

2008-01-24T20:33:00.000+08:00

the movie date which was cancelled didn't do me much good.

i've had enough of bad pretence going on around me. i'm aware, just so you know. so come on, shed your skin, reveal your mask. else, i'll forever be labelled "dreaming" by some people. i know you are not in your best of moods, but what you say did hit me. i'm going to do it, heck if it would take me 2 years or longer.

i'm tired. i need happy bananas.

will 2 wheel night cyling '08

2008-01-22T23:22:00.001+08:00

everytime, everywhere and with everyone, we want to think it is always rainbows, flowers & carebears. however the rainbows, flowers & carebears do go into hiding sometimes. but we should always keep in mind that the rainbows, flowers & carebears will never be lost from our hearts. it just takes time for them to reappear from hiding. so do give them time to figure it out. (:

night cycling was real pure fun! what more with a gerek & happening group, CASPER! like everyone else, i love the route & the fact that we had our "alone" time while cycling in a single file. the pit stops are just nice too..we had time to mingle & come up with merepek cheers & participate in merepek games or just sit & savour the drinks & snacks they feed us with, albeit getting very stoned and deranged towards the end of the event. not forgetting i had to maintain my pee from esplanade all the way to ecp..but the singing while cycling all the way back helps alot to make me forget about that. hehe..i love the cycle back to ecp & of course the satisfaction we get for completing such a strenous activity (mind you, i havent been exercising for a really long time..what more cycle through the night). ohhh..how can i possibly forget the cracking pantun session i had with muni on the way home. "anak cik temah nama dia naini, eh..jgn main2 ni muirah sainiiiiiii!!!" hahahaha..

CASPER!!!

crazy cam-whoring moments

all geared up & ready!

half way through..pit/pee stop (oh, i just love all the expressions of candid)

day break!

the last 2 pictures were suppose to be a glaring comparison between me & fanah who came back from the same event, but with very VERY different outcomes.

the sunrise? everything else made up for it.. (:

The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

2008-01-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

“What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over.”

”I don’t regret the painful times; I bear my scars as if they were medals.”

“Blessed are those who are not afraid to admit that they don’t know something.”

“My heart might be bruised but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more.”

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments but the ability to choose –and commit myself to- what is best for me.”

“All you have to do is pay attention, lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step.”

“I learned something recently: our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad, supportive faces, when, in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives.”

“The energy of hatred won’t get you anywhere; but the energy of forgiveness, which reveals itself through love, will transform your life in a positive way.”

“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”

“In contradiction, love grows in strength. In confrontation and transformation, love is preserved.”

“Love is the only thing that activates our intelligence and our creativity, that purifies and liberates us.”

“The acomodador: there is always an event in our lives that is responsible for us failing to progress.”

“..as we empty our minds of old stories, a new space opens up, a mysterious feeling of joy slips in, our intuitions grow sharper, we become braver, take more risks, do things which might be right or which might be wrong, we can't be sure, but we do them anyway.”

“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”

yummy happy food

2008-01-11T23:01:00.000+08:00

i got my yummy happy food!

thank you, YOU (:

new year feast!

2008-01-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

a rather late entry but oh well, i only got whole of the pictures now. feast your eyes!

dad brought us to BALIthai..despite the mishap.

mango & coconut grate salad as starters..yummy. delicate taste..either u like it or u don't.

asam fish head..not my fav dish of them all..

the green curry!!! oh, i'm excited already..i love ittttt! hehe..

guess what this is? okay nevermind. SCALLOPS...

the mix grill platter..i didn't enjoy this as much as i should as i got full too soon..

yummy food makes me happy! (: more food adventuresss please, anyone?

credibility in question

2008-01-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

people can get ridiculously contradicting sometimes. made a choice but begin contemplating whether they've made the right choice. well, one needs to start taking responsibility for their own decisions. blaming others is not going to rectify the problem, which is themselves. it gets worst when they start being unfair to everyone around them, themselves included..

kem kembara 2007 ( happy?)

2008-01-05T20:31:00.000+08:00

"for once in my life, i have someone who needs meeeeeee..."
how can i forget muni whining this lyric away 27648908 times during the chalet. HAHAHAH..what a way to start an entry!

ok, kem kembara was a blast though with last min changes (people who cant come on the 1st night, bbq or even at all etc.) me n ain reached early on the 1st day n with nothing to do, played board games in the living room. then we heard a nenek kebayan's voice at the window. i was facing the window n when i looked up, that's IT lah! i was so shocked, i screamed like nuts ah..fanah's face was plastered on the window grill with the most horrifying expression i can ever imagine! thanks beb..

there was only 4 of us on the 1st night..so when muni came, we were at our utmost high i guess. we had a mega "experiment" with britney's "you wanna piece of me!" *ehemehem* which got stuck in my head until now. then after that, watched PCD..which got fanah all stressed up coz ASIA won. hahahah..

late night supper n early morning walk/talk/games by the beach was cool too despite the bone-chilling cold. i successfully "pecah ngantuk"(new phrase i've learnt) n stayed up all night till 10 the next mng..hehe.

2nd day..and i guess the lethargy got to us. got a lil bored until we decided to be "happening" people again by going to the beach n sing our lungs out to the old sch jiwang music. people might have probably thought we were pathetic indo maids who were deprived of leave sey.

had bbq that evening..traumatic experience with the cats..played the most violent dinosaur game with the peeps ( i got squashed by fanah!!!)..girlfriend talk over choco fondue..

oh! n how can i forget fanah cooking maggi goreng for us in the mng..we were all at the living room when we heard noises from the kitchen..she was cooking "mamak" style la, banging the pan n what not..kling ting klang tong kling tang tang tong..oh, u get the idea! super funny la..but ur maggi goreng was nice, fanah..thanks friendddd (:

kem kembara has become a ritual..oh i cant wait for the next one already!

it's been awhile..

2007-12-29T23:23:00.001+08:00

Of great bargains and painful feet, shopping with the dearest was fun. I really hope you will tag along for the short shopping getaway, pretty please (: (: (:

If you are true, truth will prevail. Some "surprising" revelations help. Better still, when you don't see it coming.

Anyways, here are some outdated pictures from my mentel date.

Song lyrics | Tattoo lyrics

Thanks girlfriend, I like this song.

catching up

2007-11-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

meeting with old friends is really therapeutic. i love talks over choco ice blend and raspberry cheesecake. granny stories and gossipssssss (:

just cause..

2007-11-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

hey ho! today i was a busy bee at work. just about to log in to friendster (nyeheh) when i was kept occupied with a list of things to do. intech grant is a pain which gives me headaches. Can anyone relate to me here??

sighhhhh..i have no idea why it always takes longer than expected for me to update an entry here. i'll type n type n type..but end up hitting that backspace button over n over again cause i feel as if i was just crapping about all the nonsensical things that is so whatever. this feels dumb. i think i'm beginning to treat this space as my complain avenue. oh wells.

anws, i want to meet up with you, You, yOu, yoU and YOU!
for those who have finish their exams, cheers!
and for those who are just starting, all the best! (: (: (:

got back my results and i shan't complain. thankfully grateful as i am, degree phase here i come!

alive & kicking

2007-11-18T00:23:00.000+08:00

so much has happened but i'm so not in the mood to update this forsaken blog. most probably i'll be moving again soon. we'll see..we'll see.

anws, ytd watched game plan wif the younger bro & cousins. thanks for the tix! brought the younger bro to toyRus afta the show (which was great by the way). i'm happy cz he's happy (: he deserves some treat from me..my boy got 1st in class! tgk la sape yg tutor dia..*mentel*

rendezvous-cum-chill out session was gerekkk. i swear we cud go on and on sampai besok pagi also tak habis yak yak yak sey. jln2 carik mkn soon!

i think in a way, there's a blessing to everything that has happened. i'm glad i took a step back to enjoy the more wonderful things in life i thought i couldn't have. sometimes, we need to slow down living in this busy city life...

AJ raya outing

2007-11-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

Hey ho! Let's have a happy entry shall we? (: As usual, AJ's raya outing was kechorable as ever. I had loads loads of fun. Pictures!!!

In the kindergarten bus we hired. I remembered vividly the superman hanging, or rather attempting to fly, at the right front corner of the bus. :P Oh, I must thank ain here for always being the one organizing, sourcing and making things happen. Thanks mentel partner! *muka tolong maintain*

At Khairul Habana's. Ok, internal joke. :D Here we were so cheated big time by the guys. They told us it was on the 5th floor. So we jolly well took the lift up the 5th. Apparently on the 5th, the guys shouted at us from the 2nd! Evil!!! Little did they know, they messed with the wrong girls. We were up for a hell of a revenge! Not 2 folds, not 3 folds, but 5 folds!

At Ani's. Here's where it all started. We told them it was on the 7th. There's only 1 lift, so the guys had to wait for the lift to come back down..ape lagi, we pressed 4,5,6,7,10,12. Sampai rumah Ani, semua sembunyikan kasut and tutup pintu. Revenge is sweet (:

The girls at Ain's! This one tak boleh bedek sebab abg nizar knows truly well which floor ain lives on. Hahah. But at cikgu's, they were tricked again!

At mine..

The pinkies!

At Zaw's. This was the last straw. We told them it was on the 11th but of course the guys won't trust us anymore..we pressed 5,10,12..but little did they know, zaw's was on the 6th! *lol* They searched high and low till finally we had to call them cause it took them quite long. Hahah..mean us!

"Renjis-renjis dipilis.." Fanah sings. This was the highlight of the whole outing! Mcm nak roboh rumah nizar. Nizar's parents were giggling at the back.."Ek eh, comel nye.." Both smiled from ear to ear mcm monyet! :P

First picture taken for the day..all fresh!

Shagged, last house; Adib's. Walaupun tudung semua dah classic senget hehe, it was all worth it! (: (: (:

Now can't wait for KemKembarararara 2008! WeEEeEeee~

Nobody knows

2007-10-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

Nobody Knows.mp3

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows..